13 Sep Investing in Parents Supports Child Well-Being
I can’t be the only parent out there who is constantly riddled with mom (or dad) guilt. With three kids 6 and under including twins, kiddos with special needs, and a toddler, I’m just not sure at the end of the day if I always get it right. But, for some reason, no matter how messy things get–both literally and figuratively–my kids still seem to want me.
Kids want their moms and dads. But parents need things for their kids.
Some people are fortunate to be bolstered early in life with strong protective factors and encouragement. Others are passed down generational trauma and well wishes to persevere with the cards they’ve been dealt.
Between waiting in lines to ask for help, filling out endless forms to initially confirm and intermittently reconfirm eligibility, and extra appointments to receive assistance and undergo constant monitoring, being income insufficient is a full-time job. And getting a full-time job that pays enough to get out of the hole isn’t an easy feat.
The more you work and the higher level of employment you have, the less supplemental support you receive to make ends meet which means you have to make even more money to swing the difference. There are also professional clothes you have to wear, potential business travel opportunities to navigate, greater responsibility, possibly longer and odder hours once you’re on salary, and transportation needs. It costs money to make more money that some people may simply not have in addition to logistics that some may not be able to manage. And sometimes–due to factors like lack of accessible affordable childcare–parents may make difficult choices out of necessity that aren’t ideal for child safety and wellbeing.
Most parents are giving their kids all they’ve got–but like I mentioned previously, we aren’t all given the same and some of us have more in our way than others.
But…kids want their parents.
The original role of the child welfare agency was to step in when kids were being physically or sexually abused or severely neglected, meaning parents were unfit or unwilling to meet a child’s physical and emotional needs. What has happened over time is that parents who were giving their kids their all–but didn’t have enough–were being penalized for what they couldn’t, not wouldn’t, provide. What did this result in? Loving parents losing their children to the child welfare system, where foster parents were given support through state and federal dollars to raise their child instead.
Child protective services, when used for their intended purpose, can save children’s lives. But almost half of cases in recent years were for neglect. In 2022, Kentucky recognized a need for change and by passing SB 8 to revise the definition of child abuse to separate willful or insurmountable neglect from an unfortunate result stemming from lack of financial means to fully provide.
Child welfare agency involvement and unnecessary removal can have detrimental lasting impacts on the whole family. Instead of kicking parents when they’re monetarily down, let’s find ways to financially lift them up and help them actualize being the parents they would be if they could afford to. By providing concrete and economic supports, we can keep more kids where they ideally belong–safely and adequately in their homes of origin with Mom and Dad.
Poverty itself is not, and has never been, neglect. And all parents have struggles–money or not. How can we fill the gaps for those with more opportunities to support to meet their needs and thrive instead of being one more thing in their way?