04 Dec It Was Never Meant to be a Burden

It’s that time of year again: the days of cookie-baking, holiday movies, festive pajamas, and trying to find the best deals online. As the parent of a toddler who is finally more aware of all that the holiday season brings, it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of endless to-do lists and the looming deadline of the holiday itself. There are gifts to buy, parties to plan, decorations to get out, and those holiday experiences to coordinate (thankfully I’ve dodged the Elf on the Shelf commitment thus far, so my workload could be worse!). All of this on top of the normal hustle and bustle of being a working mom has had me stressed and wishing the holiday season were already over – and it has barely even started!

One night while doom-scrolling through social media after a messy toddler bedtime (parents know what I’m talking about), I came across a quote that a friend of mine had reposted. It said, “The holidays were never meant to be a burden,” and it hit home for me in that moment. I had been worrying about how we would buy all the gifts for family members and make sure that my daughter had a good Christmas from Santa. I had been dreading spending time out in the cold to put up the perfect Christmas lights and decorations. I had been burning myself out to plan all of those festive experiences that every kid should have during the holiday season. Simply put, it had all become a burden. And it had taken out all the joy I used to have during this time of year.

I’d like to report that after that moment, I stopped worrying about all of these details and have thoroughly enjoyed the rest of my holiday since then, but unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) life is not a Hallmark Christmas movie. I have no intention of throwing all the gifts, decorations, and cookies out the window. There are still things I want to do and give during this season. But I can shift my focus from “the doing” to “the being.”

Throughout the rest of this holiday season, I want to:

• Be grateful for what I have and who I have to celebrate the season with.
• Be open to imperfections and changes in my plans.
• Be giving to those that have a harder time during this season of life.
• Be content with myself and my limits.
• Be intentional with how I spend my time.
• And finally, be still. Take time to rest and recharge.

More than the gifts I can give or the experiences I can coordinate, what my family wants and deserves most from me is my presence. Whether you’re celebrating Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, or any other celebration, I hope you give yourself permission to skip all the charades and stress that might come with the holiday season and, instead, experience the joy it can bring.