21 Aug My Oxygen Mask Comes First: Why Self-Care Makes Me a Better Parent 

by Taryn Bell

As parents, we’re constantly juggling endless responsibilities, often pushing our own needs to the bottom of the list. However, prioritizing self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential for being the best parent you can be. 

Think of the airplane oxygen mask theory: you secure your own mask before helping others. If you’re running on empty, stressed and drained, how can you truly be present and patient for your children? Self-care replenishes your emotional, mental, and physical reserves, allowing you to relax, recharge, and reconnect with yourself. Prioritizing self-care leads to remarkable changes: increased patience, enhanced energy, a calmer mindset, and overall well-being that positively influences the entire family.

Teaching Self-Care to Your Kids 

Openly discussing your self-care needs is a powerful teaching moment for your children. It models healthy boundaries, self-respect, and the importance of personal well-being. 

When talking to your kids:
— Keep it simple and age-appropriate. For younger kids, explain it like a tablet needing to charge. For older kids, simply state you need time to unwind.
— Explain the “why”: connect your self-care to having more energy and patience for them later.
— Set clear expectations about how long you’ll be unavailable.
— Reassure them it’s not about them; you just need personal time. 

What Self-Care Looks Like 

Self-care is personal and doesn’t have to be extravagant. My go-to methods, often with earbuds in, include: 

— Audiobooks: If you struggle to find time to read, try listening to a chapter while tackling a task.
— Outdoor Walks: Taking my kids on nature walks through Shawnee Park not only relaxes me but also helps them expend energy. Plus, we often see an animal & learn something new!
— My Favorite Music: Turning up the volume and dancing while I clean. Sometimes, the kids even join in for an impromptu dance party!
— Meditation or Deep Breathing: This can be done anywhere, anytime—even with the kids nearby. This also models self regulation for children.
— Calling a Friend: Sometimes, we all just need to chat, vent, and connect with another adult.
— Moments of Silence: It’s perfectly fine to send the kids to another room for a quick cry or to scream into a pillow. Sometimes, silence is all you need. If children are not old enough to be left alone, try finding a quiet distraction for your child to do while you take a moment.
— Parent Quote: Karen – “Cooking with your kids – Practicing self care while engaging with your kids (When you don’t have time to do something on your own or when your kids aren’t old enough to understand) – my kids are 8 and 14.  They were able to put together a simple casserole for dinner by themselves for a recent family event.  They cooked, served and cleaned up after themselves!  As a Kinship Care family, it is important to separate yourselves away from the pressures of life and do something together.  They want to put together a cookbook of the fun things we do together and I am all in!!”

Even small, consistent acts of self-care significantly impact parenting and daily life.

The Ripple Effect 

Prioritizing your well-being creates a healthier, more resilient family environment. You’re teaching your kids invaluable lessons about self-worth, boundaries, and balancing responsibilities with personal well-being. 

Remember, your oxygen mask comes first. This not only benefits you but also fosters a calmer home and instills crucial life skills in your children. By taking care of ourselves, we model self-love and resilience, equipping our children to navigate their own lives with confidence.

What methods do you use to recharge, and how do you discuss them with your kids? Share your tips in the comments below!