22 Jan Understanding and Recognizing Grooming Behaviors

Everyone can play a role in keeping kids safe, but that only happens when people know the signs to look out for. Some warning signs of child abuse, like grooming behaviors, can be difficult to spot because they appear as normal adult-child relationships especially when the abuser is a family member or a close family friend.

Grooming is defined as a pattern of complex and deceptive behaviors used by perpetrators to sexually exploit kids in person and online and avoid detection. Grooming behaviors that can appear to be normal rapport-building or mentoring are actually harmful tactics used to develop an emotional connection and gain the child’s trust through manipulation and influence.

In a study of youth’s experiences with online grooming:
— 40% of all respondents (and 47% of girls) had been approached by someone who was trying to “befriend and manipulate” them.
— 65% had an “online-only contact” try to get them to move their public conversation to a private chat on a different platform.
— 40% experienced someone online asking for inappropriate pictures, including 28% of kids aged 9-12.

Research has shown grooming behaviors to be a “core component of child sexual abuse” – due, in part, to its identification in cases in “religious settings, sports, youth organizations, and educational environments among others”. 

Grooming is a long-term process that has been categorized into five distinct phases:
— Selecting a victim based on physical characteristics, family dynamics or challenges, and personal vulnerabilities including low self-esteem or neediness.
— Gaining access to the child and isolating them, both emotionally and physically, from family and friends was shown to be 20 times more likely to occur in cases of child sexual abuse.
— Developing trust by befriending the child and/or their family, showing favoritism, and giving the child individualized attention, gifts, and engaging in childlike activities. Studies show that these behaviors are intended to make the child believe that they have an exclusive and special relationship with the abuser.
— Desensitizing the child to physical touch and sexual content escalates gradually, starting with things like pats on the back, hugs, or cuddling and eventually exposing the child to explicit content or conversations and sexually abusive contact.
— Post-abuse maintenance behaviors are tactics abusers use to go undetected and allow the abuse to continue. These behaviors can include telling the child that the abuse is normal, not to tell anyone, coercing or convincing them to keep secrets, blaming the child for the abuse, or making threats. 

House Bill 4, sponsored by Representative Proctor and co-sponsored by several House members, would criminalize the grooming of minors and classify the offense as a misdemeanor or felony depending on the age and relationship to the child. If the bill passes, it would make Kentucky one of less than 15 states to have this type of law and give local law enforcement the ability to act earlier. Learn more in this short video from Representative Proctor on HB 4.

Understanding and recognizing grooming behaviors are critical steps we all can take to keep children safe and prevent child sexual abuse from ever occurring.

Here are three things you can do immediately in support of HB 4:
— Reach out to your state Representative to let them know you are supportive of House Bill 4 and ask them to vote ‘Yes’ when they have the opportunity.
— Talk to people in your personal and professional networks about your support of the bill and encourage them to reach out to their legislators.
— Share Face It’s 2026 Policy blog and agenda on social media or relevant listservs to bring attention to these important child abuse prevention priorities.

Track the progress of HB 4 and other bills that are good for kids on Kentucky Youth Advocates’ Bill Tracker.